Letting go of what you thought and facing what it is

Love and Relationships

By no means would I call myself a relationship expert because… LOL but in and amongst all of that however, I have learnt some things which I’m going to share with you, so get comfy and enjoy the read… 

Sometimes you are not hurt by the actual person but because the disappointment and shame of it not working out is just too much. 

You think to yourself, all of your time, all of your emotional investment was all for what. The fact that things didn’t work out how you hoped triggers a feeling that you have felt before and it can just be a bit much.

It’s embarrassing, disappointing and sometimes one can feel a bit ashamed…

The thing is shame especially can make one feel as though they need to carry the weight and sort things out on their own which is where it gets a bit heavy because we are told that we should cast our loads and heavy burdens onto the Lord

Don’t force it 

It’s hard especially when you feel as though the other person may have feelings towards you, but if no words have been uttered letting you know that they are feeling you in that way then…. I mean don’t get me wrong they could very well care for you very much, but do they see you like that in a romantic sense? They might not, and that can be a hard pill to swalllow but it is what it is. You definitely are the bee’s knees and nothing is going to take that away from you but you may not just be their bee’s knees and that’s what it comes down to.

Don’t force it because for the most part when you force something especially when it pertains to matters like this, it just makes things a whole lot worse, so in as much as it is extremely difficult, you are going to have to wean yourself off. 

Okay Bee but how do I wean myself off someone, I’m emotionally invested in? Well you know what, this process differs from person to person. I can’t write a prescriptive method or approach because everyone deals with let down and hurt etc differently however here are some things that could help: 

  • keeping busy but not to the point of burnout (that is counterproductive and when you are burnt out, you are more susceptible to feeling low and these will trigger memories and thoughts so avoid burn out but defintely keep busy) invest in a hobby, doesn’t even have to be a hobby that is for money making purposes, although that is fine, but just spend time doing something that you are interested in. Learn a new skill, paint, write, play an instrument, edit videos, whatever it is. 
  • Talking about it - this one can be hard especially if you are like me, and you find it hard to share what’s on your mind but talking definitely helps. 
  • Pray - this list is not in any particular order or anything, because to be honest prayer should always be our first point of call. Philippians 4:6 says it says ‘don’t worry about anything but pray and tell God what you need’ - in this circumstance, you need Him to be your healer, The One who helps you to move on and let go of what you thought it could be. 

Feel the feels but then push past it

Honestly, do not lie to yourself - if you feel mad, annoyed, frustrated, then you feel mad, annoyed, frustrated and that’s okay but feel it, express it to those closest to you, pray about it and then push past it. Don’t start acting out of a place of anger, frustration etc. 

But how can i push past it Bee? Affirmation, affirmation, affirmation, truth, truth truth and that leads nicely to the reflection point below… 

Prayer and point to reflect:

Lord irrespective of how I may feel, please let me be led by Your truth and not by my feelings. 

Help me to hear your truth in and amongst all of the feelings going on, all of the voices, all of the opinions and my own thoughts. 

Lord help me to see that there is light at the end of this tunnel and this is not the expected end that you have for me. 

Help me to trust that as Your child, all things are going to work out for me and nothing will ever come between the love that You have for me. 

Help me to stand strong and to not feel the weight of disappointment, shame and hurt. 

In Your name I have prayed, Amen. 

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