So what happens when something you thought would last, something you thought would work, doesn’t? What happens when you’ve put your all into something and you thought that it would reap the rewards, in the way you wanted, but to no avail?
What happens when you tried something different, you stepped out of the box, out of your comfort zone, went above and beyond of what you would normally do to just have it thrown back in your face?
It feels crap that’s what happens. You feel disappointed, let down, frustrated, annoyed, upset. You feel as though what’s the point, there’s no use in me trying this again and all the rest of those associated feelings but guess what, just because that didn’t work out how you thought and hoped it would, it doesn’t mean that’s the end.
I know that right now in the midst of it all, thinking about the experience you would have acquired and the life lessons learnt, is not really what you want to think about but how about trying to?
How about trying to have a perspective change?
As opposed to looking back and reviewing and thinking of all the things that you tried and didn’t seem to work or all the things that just went sideways, how about looking at things differently?
I’m not saying that we should live in a fairytale imagination land and ignore the facts that stand before us - yes of course you will feel down, upset etc and those feelings shouldn’t be discredited but dealt with (talking to your trusted few, seeking godly advice, prayer, doing what helps you in these times) however there must have also been things that you would have learnt, memories that would have been great, times that you would have thought “wow this is amazing”. Good things to take away from it all.
Too often we focus on the negatives of a situation and that doesn’t help us when we are trying to heal and get past things. Why? Because it just fuels more negative energy into an already open wound. What that wound needs is TLC - tender, loving, care.
You need to look carefully at what you are allowing yourself to ponder on and to think on. (As a person thinks, so they are). If you dwell on the hurt, embarrassment, disappointment, frustration then your wound will on fester that and become deeper and deeper.
As mentioned before, no don’t ignore those feelings because rightly so feelings are indicators of issues that need to be addressed, but what you do with those feelings are:
1. Present them to the Lord
For example: ‘Lord, I won’t lie to you but I’m feeling really annoyed/upset/hurt/let down about this situation. I thought things would turn out differently than this. I really tried in this situation and I feel like you didn’t come through for me.’ Or whatever it is you want to say to the Lord, just be honest and let it out but once you’ve let it out, then commit the situation into the Lord’s hands. ‘God it is what it is but I trust that with you in control, it will be well. I commit everything into your hands.’
2. Talk to your trusted few
I tend to mention this quite often in posts but it’s true. No person is an island. We need interaction with others. We are relational beings and we’re made to have fellowship and relationship with others that are of like mind to us.
3. Be intentional
It’s not a quick fix, something that just happens overnight. It’s an intention. One must be intentional about the way they choose to see situations.
It’s not easy and I won’t lie there are a few things that haven’t worked out of me how I would have hoped. For some of those times, I have really wanted to just dwell in a pity party and pool of “why’s it always me” thoughts, but I have really disciplined myself to think “if it was for me, it would be mine” and also really deeping the fact that God is good. Irrespective of how things do or do not turn out, God is good and if He is good and I am His child then surely everything that pertains to me will also ultimately be good.
So don’t lose hope, don’t throw in the towel and don’t just think that this is the end because it’s not. Remember that we can only see with limited vision in comparison to what God sees pertaining to us. We don’t know what the bigger picture is but God does. All things, not some, not a few, not one or two but ALL things work out for good for those who love God and those who are called according to His purpose.
Hold onto that hope.
Till the next post,
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