Letting go can be hard especially if what you have to let go of was something you thought to be so beautiful, and to be honest is still something you think is beautiful. Whether it’s a romantic relationship or a friendship, it can be hard to let go of something that you once did/still do hold so close and so dear to your heart, but sometimes it has to be done..
They’ll be the question stage: God why? How did this happen? What or where did I do wrong? You can sit there and think to yourself how can two people go from being the absolute best of friends, knowing absolutely every single detail about each other and the ins and out of the day to literally not even knowing anything? Literally how does something like that happen?
Is it something that happens over the course of time? Or does one big thing happen that causes everything to be over? Some may argue that, ‘well they never really were your friend if only one thing happens and you stop being friends,’ other may respond with ‘some friendships are only in your life for a season.’ To be honest, there are many opinions about this, all of which are valid because ultimately and as should be the case, everyone is entitled to have their opinion.
In and amongst all of this though, I personally stand by the belief that what goes on between two people whether that be a friendship or a romantic relationship is between those two people. As much as we may share with our friends and family certain things and vent to them about what’s going on, no one will really know the true deal apart from the two people that are involved.
Sometimes, friendships and romantic relationships can be so difficult to explain to the outside eye and to be honest it can be hard for even the two people involved to understand. Why? Well because everyone is different. As much as we all are our brother’s and sister’s keepers, we all perceive things so totally differently. We communicate in different ways and react to things in different ways. Yes these differences are what make us unique and sometimes even attracted to the other person, but when there’s tension or a disagreement those very same attractive qualities can make it so difficult to try and get your point of view across. Feelings do not help the situation either at times to be honest lol.
“oh my can feelings make things so super complicated at times”
Feelings. Feelings are beautiful. They’re created by God. They tell us that we care about certain things but oh my can feelings make things so super complicated at times. What do you do when your heart has gone way further out than you expected it to? How now can you try and reign it back in so that you’re able to act and react in a calm, cool and collected manner? It can be hard to judge it at times, to weigh the scales in a proportionate way so that both your heart and your head are in the game.
You can master your feelings, the thing is we’ve just let our feelings rule us so much in various aspects of our lives that we don’t even know how to master them anymore. We just let them do what it is they want: sulk, not talk to anyone, be mad, have a pity party etc. all of those are the outward manifestations of our feelings. I’m not saying having feelings is bad but there’s a line that must be put in place. Self- control needs to be in the equation because feelings and acting recklessly because of feelings can really destroy a good thing. Proverbs 25:28 says that ‘he who cannot control himself is like a city without walls broken into.’ What happens when a city doesn’t have good borders in place and it gets attacked? Good things become destroyed, but with the right parameters and measures in place, such attacks can be avoided.
With all these things, relationships and friendships you really have to seek the face of God because especially with feelings, sometimes you can be left in a bit of a rut and not really knowing what to do. But praying and distancing yourself from the matter can really help you to gain clarity. Distance can be difficult because as mentioned, if the person is one with whom you communicate everyday then it will be hard to not reach out to them but sometimes it’s the best thing to do for both parties. It can be painful, you may feel lonely at times but taking a step away, a break, letting it go and continuing with your day to day can help you to refocus, gain a clearer perspective and it also gives each party the time to think and to be honest just breathe.
If you honestly do use this time to seek God about the situation then you can trust that God will lead you in the right direction. There is a peace that God provides that even when things are rocky you still have that assurance that He is still in control. The Words that God speaks to us through His Word all offer life and hope to those who trust and believe in Him and we have to remember that His ways are not our ways, neither are His thoughts the same as ours. If God has ordained for someone to be in your life then no matter what, they will be in your life and if things are rocky now then God is the master restorer. If God has ordained for the door to be closed on a particular friendship or relationship, then the door will have to be closed, but even in that instance God is still the master restorer and one thing I know is that when God restores, things of the past, hurts of the past, they will not even matter anymore.
“if God has ordained for the door to be closed then He still is the Master Restorer”
I came across the below picture on my Facebook the other day. (For the benefit of those who don’t have Facebook, when you log onto your profile etc. FB will bring up posts, pictures etc. that you would have shared with your FB friends however many years ago.)
So in this instance, I saw this post from 2009. Now 7 years later, do I even know what I found complicated? I really have no clue and I’m most certainly not finding it complicated anymore thank God lol. It must have definitely been something big for me to have put it up on my Facebook wall. It was probably over a guy or something lol but in all honesty, I’m not crying about the whole thing now because God has built me up from that, He brought me through it, He restored me and it’s really not a big deal to me now. So the same thing applies for when God tells you to shut a door. It may seem like a long road ahead but keep taking it one step at a time. Later on down the line, you’ll be okay.